Final Fantasy Daily News
by Sailor Erin
Summary: Final Fantasy 7 daily news, um, is there anything else you wanna know? (Note: R&R please)


Final Fantasy Daily News  
  
Note: I don't own any of the characters whatsoever. I also wrote this while I was bored. Well, that's all.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sailor Erin (Me) is on stage ready to tell the news.  
  
SE: (ahem) Hello good people of the planet. Let's start with the IMPORTNT HEADLINES first.   
  
(Headline scene starts)  
  
SE: Cloud Strife finally admitted that he didn't make through SOLDIER first class and that he was being his best fiend Zack.   
  
(Scene change)  
  
SE: Tifa Lockhart finally told Cloud how she feels about him.  
  
(Scene change).  
  
SE: Yuffie died a horrible bloody death just yesterday, and until now, no one, not even the famous detective Sherlock Holmes solved that mystery. In other words, no one knew who the killer was.  
  
(Scene change)  
  
SE: Shinra Tower blew up.  
  
(End of headlines. Camera goes back to SE)  
  
SE: Cloud Strife told everyone, and I mean EVERYONE that he was in SOLDIER first class when he was really not. Let's go to Tom to see what Cloud has to say.  
  
(Tifa's bar, Cloud is sitting with a huge glass of beer next to him crying with tears).  
  
Cloud: I never knew that this day might come. I mean, I always thought everyone loved me, but when I told them that I was (sob) that I wasn't really in SOLDIER first class, they ALL HATED ME!!!! WAAAAAH! (goes back to crying and drinking beer).  
  
Tom: Poor Cloud, the most popular character in FF7 is now the most hated. (turns to Cloud) YOU SPIKY HEADED JERK! JUST ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! (Cut off and back to SE).  
  
SE: (ahem) Tifa Lockhart, the childhood friend of Cloud Strife finally told Cloud his feelings.   
  
(Scene Cloud and Tifa in Tifa's bar)  
  
Tifa: Cloud, I need to tell you something.  
  
Cloud: What is it Tifa?  
  
Tifa: I…I…I…  
  
Cloud: (gets closer to Tifa) Yes.  
  
Tifa: I…I…HATE YOU DAMMIT!  
  
Cloud: (gasps) WHAT!?  
  
Tifa: I used to love you but you never even looked at me! Just like what I did to you but that was different. Anyway, if it wasn't for that slut Aeris…  
  
Aeris: HEY!  
  
Tifa: I would've loved you. But NOOOO, you get to choose Aeris before me. I hate you! Get outta my bar you dumbass!  
  
(Back to SE)  
  
SE: right now Tifa is experiencing some major mental problems. Poor Tifa.  
  
(Back to Tom)  
  
Tom: Tifa Lockhart is a brave woman, she actually told Cloud how she feels about him. Poor Cloud, and Tifa. I guess I'll go pay Tifa a visit (Wide grin) Back to you Erin!  
  
SE: Don't even think about it Tom! Now we have the death of that annoying ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi who died just yesterday at 6:00am.   
  
(7:39pm the next day after Yuffie's death. Lots and lost of police cars).  
  
FBI agent: Something's wrong with this murder, I just don't know what!  
  
Detective: I know! I hate it when something like this happens to us.  
  
Sherlock Holmes: hmm, it seems here that the person killed this young lady while she was sleeping.  
  
(FBI agent and the detective look at Sherlock Holmes)  
  
Sherlock Holmes: She is wearing her night gown.  
  
(FBI agent and detective's eyes lighten up)  
  
Sherlock Holmes: But I don't know why or how or where he killer her. There must be something we can do!  
  
(The killer is right behind them killing random people and laughing inasnly)  
  
SE: If you know who the killer is, please contact us by phone or E-mail or mail or fax. Thank you. Last we have the bomb in Shinra Tower that blew it up. Now it's off to Tom.  
  
Tom: (A burnt down Shinra Tower is right behind him) I think it was Rufus committing suicide. Scarlet even said that he hated his life 'cause of it. We hope to find more clues. But right now, we only think it was suicide. Back to you SE.  
  
SE: Well, thanks for watching our boring daily news. Good bye!   
  
(All members and crew, also readers are asleep)  
  
SE: … (sigh)   
  
(End)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Note: So, um, what do you say. I know it's not funny…or is it? I am bored ya know!   
Final Fantasy Daily News  
  
Note: I don't own any of the characters whatsoever. I also wrote this while I was bored. Well, that's all.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sailor Erin (Me) is on stage ready to tell the news.  
  
SE: (ahem) Hello good people of the planet. Let's start with the IMPORTNT HEADLINES first.   
  
(Headline scene starts)  
  
SE: Cloud Strife finally admitted that he didn't make through SOLDIER first class and that he was being his best fiend Zack.   
  
(Scene change)  
  
SE: Tifa Lockhart finally told Cloud how she feels about him.  
  
(Scene change).  
  
SE: Yuffie died a horrible bloody death just yesterday, and until now, no one, not even the famous detective Sherlock Holmes solved that mystery. In other words, no one knew who the killer was.  
  
(Scene change)  
  
SE: Shinra Twoer blew up.  
  
(End of headlines. Camera goes back to SE)  
  
SE: Cloud Strife told everyone, and I mean EVERYONE that he was in SOLDIER first class when he was really not. Let's go to Tom to see what Cloud has to say.  
  
(Tifa's bar, Cloud is sitting with a huge glass of beer next to him crying with tears).  
  
Cloud: I never knew that this day might come. I mean, I always thought everyone loved me, but when I told them that I was (sob) that I wasn't really in SOLDIER first class, they ALL HATED ME!!!! WAAAAAH! (goes back to crying and drinking beer).  
  
Tom: Poor Cloud, the most popular character in FF7 is now the most hated. (turns to Cloud) YOU SPIKY HEADED JERK! JUST ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! (cut off and back to SE).  
  
SE: (ahem) Tifa Lockhart, the childhood friend of Cloud Strife finally told Cloud his feelings.   
  
(Scene Cloud and Tifa in Tifa's bar)  
  
Tifa: Cloud, I need to tell you something.  
  
Cloud: What is it Tifa?  
  
Tifa: I…I…I…  
  
Cloud: (gets closer to Tifa) Yes.  
  
Tifa: I…I…HATE YOU DAMMIT!  
  
Cloud: (gasps) WHAT!?  
  
Tifa: I used to love you but you never even looked at me! Just like what I did to you but that was different. Anyway, if it wasn't for that slut Aeris…  
  
Aeris: HEY!  
  
Tifa: I would've loved you. But NOOOO, you get to choose Aeris before me. I hate you! Get outta my bar you dumbass!  
  
(Back to SE)  
  
SE: right now Tifa is experiencing some major mental problems. Poor Tifa.  
  
(Back to Tom)  
  
Tom: Tifa Lockhart is a brave woman, she actually told Cloud how she feels about him. Poor Cloud, and Tifa. I guess I'll go pay Tifa a visit (Wide grin) Back to you Erin!  
  
SE: Don't even think about it Tom! Last we have the death of that annoying ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi who died just yesterday at 6:00am.   
  
(7:39pm the next day after Yuffie's death. Lots and lost of police cars).  
  
FBI agent: Something's wrong with this murder, I just don't know what!  
  
Detective: I know! I hate it when something like this happens to us.  
  
Sherlock Holmes: hmm, it seems here that the person killed this young lady while she was sleeping.  
  
(FBI agent and the detective look at Sherlock Holmes)  
  
Sherlock Holmes: She is wearing her night gown.  
  
(FBI agent and detective's eyes lighten up)  
  
Sherlock Holmes: But I don't know why or how or where he killer her. There must be something we can do!  
  
(The killer is right behind them killing random people and laughing inasnly)  
  
SE: If you know who the killer is, please contact us by phone or E-mail or mail or fax. Thank you. That's the news for the day, I hope you learned something from it. Bye!  
  
(End)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Note: So, um, what do you say. I know it's not funny…or is it? I am bored ya know!   



End file.
